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AARYN

Discussion circled around the table, considering all points and Elreth listened to everyone. But he could scent the unease in her, and her expression told him she hadn\'t yet decided what the next step was. By the time their dinner came, she looked exhausted—and even more frustrated.

Everyone settled down while they were eating, but as he chewed the last of his succulent lamb, Aaryn looked around the table and cleared his throat.

"I have been trusted with some of the secrets," he said carefully, "but not all of them. I wonder if I know enough to ask some questions El might not think to ask."

Elia nodded at him. "Go ahead."

Aaryn frowned at his glass of juice. "I understand that you\'re picky about who to train, and that you take the training slowly. That all seems wise. But what happens when someone has proven themselves? When they\'ve successfully crossed the traverse and you know they can be trusted? What do those people know? What do you tell them? What do they think they\'re doing? If you\'ve been doing this as long as I\'ve been alive, haven\'t those Anima ever asked questions about why they were trained then just… living their lives?"

Gar looked at Elia who sighed, her forehead pinching into lines.

It was Elreth who challenged her. "You can\'t keep this secret anymore, Mom," she said firmly. "We need to know."

"I know, I know," Elia said, exchanges glances with Reth. "I just… it\'s been twenty years of holding this back. It\'s hard to make the adjustment sometimes. I feel… I\'m afraid that telling people is leading us to disaster, but I know… I\'m confident it\'s the right thing to do. Don\'t worry, I\'m just figuring out the right words."

She stared down at her hands in her lap for a moment, then lifted her head, looking back and forth between Aaryn and Elreth as she spoke.

"There is one aspect to all of this that initially I thought was unconnected with the Protectors. It was something we used to avoid that very question you raised, Aaryn. Two things, actually: First of all, when we first began this, with Gahrye here, we portrayed it as a… I guess an army of sorts. We told those who joined us that they were working for the Queen\'s pleasure. That they were my very own network—spies, eyes and ears to inform, and in some cases, to protect here within Anima. We told them they were secret because of what had happened with the wolves and how we didn\'t want to be betrayed again.

"Secondarily, because of how things naturally played out for Gahrye, because I\'d always spoken to him about how human women would love him, when he entered the human world and found a mate, it became… almost an assumption among the disformed. Those who struggled to find mates here often turned to us, wanting a chance to cross the traverse. We used that. I\'m not ashamed to say it. Many of those who have become Protectors and have not found mates have gone into the human world, at least for a time, to see if they could find one there. And some have, as you know. But most… most do not. Most return here, but they are grown by the experience. Then they join the first group."

Elreth\'s mouth dropped open. "The disformed are—were—your own army?"

Elia\'s eyes went wide. "No! I mean, not like that! They weren\'t fighters, they were guards and defenders, and… and spies."

"And what have they been doing since I took dominance?"

"Waiting to do the same for you," Aaryn said, all of it finally becoming clear. Why those around him had pressed so hard for him to become Elreth\'s cohort. Why the older disformed had waited so patiently while he muddled through with Elreth. Why they\'d never been swayed in their determination to serve the crown. "Oh my, I was so blind," he said faintly.

"No, you weren\'t blind!" Elia protested. "You did an amazing job of leading without even knowing the full picture of what you were dealing with. The Protectors respected you as Alpha, even knowing that you were still unaware of the full depth of what we could do. They appreciated your loyalty to me—and then Elreth. No one speaks a bad word of you, Aaryn. You need to know that."

"I never even intended to take the Alpha," Gar said quietly. "I never questioned what you were doing, Aaryn. I know that some stuff\'s come up. I\'m still not certain I agree, but… but I know no matter what others said, you were always working for the good of the whole. Including El."

Aaryn felt his cheeks heat. "I wasn\'t looking for compliments," he said sheepishly. "I just meant… here I thought we\'d focused the disformed on the royal family as a kind of goal. But they were already working for you. I should have seen it. I will see it next time."

Tarkyn rubbed his jaw. "You mentioned those who spend time in the human world," he broke in. "What are they doing while they\'re over there?"

"They\'re working with the Guardians to create a better understanding between our world and theirs—and for the last few years, as the prophecy has been becoming more urgent and we\'ve had the anima to do it, they\'re helping Kalle look for humans that might know about us, or be looking for Anima. We all know that centuries ago the humans were here as a tribe. But what the hidden histories showed us was that there was a… a rift between the humans and the Anima, prior to the prophecy first being given to the Anima.

"We\'ve been trying to trace where humans might have records of the Anima, or be aware of this world. Many of the disformed who traverse work with them on that."

"And have you had any luck?" Elreth asked quickly, perking up.

"She\'s getting some clues—but there\'s nothing concrete. We\'re certain there are humans who are aware of Anima—not just the Guardians. But because we haven\'t caught anyone crossing, we believe it\'s just some kind of legend or secret, protected amongst a circle of humans, probably much like our Guardians. But the few actual leads they\'ve found have led to a part of the human world that is very distant from the traverse portal. Weeks of travel, even by beast—though travel is much faster in the human world. But also more complicated. It\'s hard to explain. But just be sure, if they find something, we\'ll learn about it."

"How?"

Elia glanced at Reth again. "Because if we find any real answers, Gahrye will get them to me," she said quietly. "So I could go over there and… figure it out."

Reth froze.