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ELRETH

"You aren\'t serious?" her father asked quietly, his brows pinched and forehead lined.

"I don\'t know. I just… Nothing is working out the way I thought it would and Aaryn seems so much better at this than I am, and I just… I wonder what happened to me. How is it possible I was more confident before I beat you, than I am after?"

He father guffawed. "Wow, apparently I really did shelter you from reality, didn\'t I?" he chuckled, shaking his head. "Elreth, you aren\'t even twenty years old."

"You were eighteen when you took dominance."

"Yeah, because my father died and my mother was dying, and… trust me, that\'ll grow you up fast. You need to know, Elreth, it\'s been obvious to me since the day you were born that you were born to lead. But Aaryn\'s got four years more life behind him, two years of leading—though not in the same sphere or level of responsibility as you\'re now dealing with—and he\'s also had a much, much more difficult life than you. He\'s had to learn to keep his mouth shut when things are tough. And that\'s something you\'ll learn too.

"Aaryn is a really good male. I wanted him for you for years because of that. I see a lot of myself in him, and we both know that\'s the very best kind of male you could have," he said with a wink.

Elreth snorted. "Ew, Dad. Just… ew."

Her father rolled his eyes. "Just wait until you have kids and they see you loving on your mate, El. You\'re going to show up at my door and thank me. Now, I\'m not going to let myself get distracted, so if you\'re truly concerned about how to find your way through this, here\'s a tip for you: Staying quiet when others are speaking is the fastest way to make yourself look wise and worth listening to. Use it. When you\'re uncertain, ask a lot of questions and listen to the answers. Even if you can very quickly tell that the things you\'re hearing aren\'t want you want to do, you\'re still moving forward because you\'re finding out what you don\'t need.

"But back to this Aaryn thing: Do you really think he\'s better at this than you, or are you just feeling bad and, maybe, wanting to bring him down with you?"

Elreth shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "He did a lot better at the elder\'s meeting today than I did. He sounded strong and certain and… like he commanded respect. Even when they were saying horrible things about the disformed, he… handled it. I just lost my cool and made a fool of myself. And him. And then I got mad at him…" She groaned. "I really messed up, Dad. And I feel like that\'s happening every day. I either get it really wrong, or I\'m fumbling. I don\'t know what to do. No matter what, I\'m going to bed with my stomach twisted up, wondering what\'s going to make me fall on my face the next day. This sucks!"

"Now, you listen to me," her father growled, leaning forward over the table towards her. "You are made for this, Elreth. And you do know how to rule. What you don\'t know is everything that\'s involved, or every obstacle you\'ll face. And Aaryn is a good, solid male, and a strong Alpha—stronger even than I thought. And that\'s good. You  need that. You need a place to rest where you can trust the arms are big enough to hold you up. But Aaryn is a long way from being the perfect leader, and he doesn\'t keep his jaws closed when he should all the time, either. You know that.

"What he is is a male of integrity. And with the way the disformed are growing, he\'s the right person to be second in power now. You and I both know that. But did you really think the people were going to hear that and just roll over for you? No, El, they\'re going to make you prove to them that having a disformed in power is a good thing.

"I\'ll admit, bringing your mother to the people was a great deal harder than I ever expected, and I wished I\'d made a lot of decisions differently. But that doesn\'t mean I shouldn\'t have been Ruler. That just meant I\'m Anima, and I make mistakes just like everyone else.

"You didn\'t see me when I was your age. I was still in the first two years of my rule—and you know I\'ve told you before those were the hardest. One time I pissed Brant off in the middle of an elders meeting and he dominated me. Right there. I thought I was done! I was King! I was Clan Leader, Alpha of All. And I ended up with my tail tucked and my ears down, cowering in front of him—and in front of the entire elder\'s council. I left the building that day thinking that I\'d just been bested and Brant was going to be King now."

"What happened?" Elreth breathed. She\'d never heard this story before.

"What happened was that nothing changed. No one else had challenged me, and Brant didn\'t take the power. He only set me in my place and reminded me that I wasn\'t the only male of strength among the Anima. And that as a twenty-year-old I still had many things to learn.

"The Elders are not rulers, Elreth. Their role is to help you. To teach you. To guide you. And to advocate for the people if or when you\'re wrong. That was the day I learned that. I went back to them the following day and apologized for the way I\'d been throwing my weight around and not listening. I apologized for seeing them… incorrectly. I told them I would do better, and I did.

"The Elders, the security council, the women\'s council… they are your biggest asset alongside your Cohorts, Elreth. Are you using your Cohorts? That\'s what they\'re there for, as well. They should be your closest companions. Checking on you, making sure that you\'re okay—but also challenging you when you\'re wrong."

Elreth swallowed. She hadn\'t had a decent conversation with Gwyn in days. And even though Huncer had been around a lot, it was mainly in her role as Alpha of the Women\'s Council, or wise-woman. She sighed. "I\'ll talk to my Cohorts today," she said reluctantly. "But you think they should be challenging me? I thought the whole point of being Alpha was that you set down any challenges that came?"

Reth sighed. "No, El. There are challenges to your rule, and then there are challenges that are designed to help you. You have to learn to know the difference. If you don\'t, you\'ll end your own rule putting down the wrong people. You won\'t fall to an individual challenger, you\'ll have a revolt on your hands. And we both know where that leads," he said sadly.

Elreth reached out to take his hand as the weight he\'d already been carrying seemed to double under his thoughts.

"Tell me how, Dad," she said quietly. "I don\'t want that. I want to be a good ruler, like you. Tell me how."

Her father snorted. "You already are, Elreth. And you\'re going to get better."

"I\'m going to get better, because I\'m going to start listening. So, tell me, Dad. Please?"

He raised his warm brown eyes to meet hers and he smiled. "If you insist."