Chapter 90 - I'm Just A Human Too
As each second passed, Alex Jo was reminded of the past more and more.
He realized that he wasn\'t the only one who changed, she did too. However, he knew that there\'s no one to blame but himself. He had let her down and broke her trust.
If this was the past Nicole who used to love him wholeheartedly, she won\'t even need a second to ponder! During those times, whenever he asked her if she trusted him, she would always answer right away. \'Yes.\' But now, the question was followed by a long silence.
"I can\'t make a decision for now. I need time."
That\'s how Nicole responded after a long silence and it hurt Alex Jo more than he could imagine! He expected it. He deserved it too but still... it\'s hard to be okay.
Only now did he realized the tremendous pain he brought to her. How broken hearted was she when her once strong trust in him faded little by little until... it completely vanished!
How did this fragile-looking woman bear such pain?! He knew that he had no right but still... the thought of it pained him so much!
Aston turned his attention to Alex Jo who was standing still with a pale face. He was waiting for him to speak up but curiosity was killing him! What was their relationship?!
"I understand. I will wait for your decision." Alex Jo muttered. Then he stormed out of the office, refusing to stay for even another second.
After Alex Jo left, Nicole quietly returned to one corner and continued making the tea. Though Aston was standing a few steps behind her, she could feel his gaze and she knew that she must speak up.
"Why don\'t you take a seat? I know that you have many questions. I will give you an answer." She calmly said despite the pressure forming inside her.
Aston quietly did as she said and sat down. However, his gaze never left her for even a second. "Are you alright?" He finally asked her after a minute.
Nicole turned around and walked to him with a tray that holds two cups of tea. She placed one cup in front of him and sat opposite to him. "I\'m fine. I\'m used to it." She forced a little smile.
Aston recalled how she behaved just minutes ago. She was so cruel to that man. He knew how heartless she could be at times but it was different this time. He saw hatred and contempt in her eyes when she looked at that man named Alex Jo. Was it because he was her stepmother\'s assistant? He didn\'t think so.
He didn\'t say any of these and quietly lifted the cup of tea and took a sip of it. Ever since he was exposed to the cruelty of this world, he learned to be patient because he had no other choice. But now, it had become one of his greatest strength as he always thinks before he acts.
However, whenever it comes to this woman, he always finds it hard to be patient. Her influence on him was stronger than anything else!
"He\'s my ex-lover." Nicole finally spoke up. "My first love." Her voice was so low as she was too ashamed to say those words.
Alex Jo was her past which she really wished to erase! If her past with him could be erased by paying a price, she would gladly do it no matter how much the price was!
Aston was stupefied! An ex-lover?! That man? He thought that he was her arch-enemy! Well, it\'s understandable. Judging by the way she looked at him, one would get that idea too. She stared at him as if he was the one who murdered her whole family!
"We met in college and dated for almost two years." She paused and cautiously glanced at Aston. "Back then, I loved him wholeheartedly. He was my only relief from the manipulation of my step-mother."
She observed the actor and he was calmer than she thought but she could sense how uncomfortable he was. It can\'t be helped. She was simply telling the truth and as he knew, lying was not her forte.
"He was the reason why my step-mother doesn\'t want me to indulge myself in love." She noticed him slightly raising a brow.
Then she told him her story with that man she despised - how she ran away after suffering for 10 years, how she was threatened and... how she returned and threatened her step-mother for the first time. He was carefully hearing her out with all attention.
Of course, how she broke up with him for his sake and their dramatic reunion must be included too. The more she talked about him, the more she despised him.
"That day," she muttered and a little smirk on her face. "Everything else lost its value in my eyes. Putting aside my sufferings of 10 long years, I give up my freedom without any hesitation and ran back like crazy, all for that trash." She sneered because she finds herself too laughable. "I must save Alex. I must save Alex. That\'s the only thing on my mind. I\'m a fool, right?"
"Do you regret saving him?" Aston asked.
All at once, the facade in her dropped. She narrowed her eyes at the floor and recalled the time when she told Alex Jo that she regretted saving him. Now, the question of that answer made its way back to her but this time, she shook her head.
"No. Back then, even if I ignored my stepmother\'s threat and ran away, I will never live a happy life. Knowing that a life is gone because of me... " She shook her head. "It\'s a feeling that could never be brushed away. It will haunt me every day and in my sleep. I have experienced that." Her voice trailed off and her gaze fixated on the floor.
"What I regret the most is that I have once trusted him. I have once loved him. That feeling alone made me feel disgusted. I feel ashamed of myself, so I can\'t help but hate him. After he finds out the sacrifice I made, I find myself losing control more and more."
"You\'re tormenting yourself, Nicole," Aston said. His eyes were filled with concern for her.
"I know." She whispered.
"Don\'t let yourself be bothered by someone like him. You already have so much on your plate, it will be too much for you if this goes on. Hating someone to a great extent needs so much energy and you should save that for your war with your step-mother." His voice was calm yet pleading. She didn\'t even look at him yet he never takes his eyes off her.
Nicole abruptly rose from her seat and finally glanced down at him. "I\'m well aware of that. I always reminded myself not to be bothered but I always failed. It can\'t be helped! What do you expect me to do? I\'m just a human too!" Her tone became higher and higher and when she finally gets ahold of herself, she was already yelling at him.
Aston was flustered at her reaction but when he had a clear look at her, he realized that she was flustered too! He saw the regret in her eyes as it\'s the first time she raised her voice at him ever since she accepted him!
The tension gets to her and she ended up squeezing her dress, nervously. "I\'m s -sorry. I - I..." She stuttered and struggled for words to say.
"It\'s fine." He rose from his seat and stood beside her. "You don\'t have to apologize. I\'m fine."
She wasn\'t in her right mind and he could feel that. This woman... she was constantly pressured and manipulated since she was a young girl. She was fine at times but she wasn\'t mentally stable. Aston understood that she needs some help. Her mental wounds were left untreated for too long!
"But, I don\'t - "
"I said I\'m fine, Nicole." He noticed the horror on her face and he pulled her into an embrace. "Believe me. I\'m okay. Did I push you too much? I should have thought about how hard it is for you. I\'m sorry."
Her face was buried in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her body, holding onto her tightly. However, her hands were tucked to her sides, making no effort to lift them at all.
She was lost in his embrace that was too warm and comforting. The feeling was the same as that night when she accepted him - warm and intoxicating! There was no other thing that could make her feel this way!
Then he pulled back a bit, though his hands were still around her body. He narrowed his eyes at her. "I love you, Nicole Yang. Even if you yelled at me a hundred... no, a thousand times, it won\'t change."
When the rapid thumping of his heartbeat was making him feel the pressure little by little, he leaned down and sealed her lips with a kiss.....