Chapter 147 - I Know What That's Like
Jocelyn had never been on a plane before. It was an interesting experience. She was used to small spaces but not having so many people packed into them.
Keith didn\'t seem the slightest bit bothered. He had done this before so she hadn\'t expected him to.
The flight was less than three hours. He spent most of it watching a movie so she read a book she had brought with her. It wasn\'t the worst way to pass time but the seats could have been more comfortable. At least he had his hand resting on top of her thigh for most of it.
He did things like that a lot since they started dating officially. He always had to be touching her somehow but she didn\'t mind. It made her feel very loved.
When their plane landed they went to get a rental car and headed straight to their hotel. They had eaten lunch at the airport and still had some time before dinner so they decided to go to the beach. She had never been discounting times she had villain fights to deal with out on the water.
This was her first time as a casual beachgoer and she wasn\'t quite sure what to expect. She had only ever been at night since that was when villains tended to strike.
This beach was quite crowded. She supposed it was because they went during daylight hours. There were people everywhere doing activities ranging from building sandcastles to napping to playing volleyball.
Jocelyn definitely hadn\'t come here to take a nap. She knew nothing about volleyball either aside from playing it a few times in high school P.E. Keith had been to the beach before so she was planning on following his lead. It was the easier thing to do.
"Come on! Let\'s go swimming," he said after they set up their stuff on the sand.
"…I don\'t know how."
Keith blinked at her. "You don\'t? But you always handled things involving water without fear!"
"Because I had my ice to fall back on. If I fell in I could make an ice platform below me to get back out. Nobody ever taught me how to swim and once I was an adult I never got around to taking lessons because I didn\'t think I\'d need it. I didn\'t even own a swimsuit until I bought one for this trip," Jocelyn confessed.
"Remind me to teach you at the hotel pool after dinner. Knowing how to swim is an important skill. We can just go to the shallow part if you want. I won\'t let anything happen to you. But if you\'d rather stay out of the water altogether I\'d understand. I wouldn\'t have suggested going to the beach if I knew you couldn\'t swim."
"Don\'t worry about it. I\'m the one who didn\'t say anything. I figured you could help me out if necessary because of your affinity with water."
Jocelyn hadn\'t been concerned about not knowing how to swim knowing Keith would be with her the whole time. She had seen him do some amazing things with bodies of water before. He didn\'t just create water; he could control it.
Keith smiled and shook his head. "Of course you did. If you want to swim I can make that happen. Come on."
He took her hand and they walked into the surf together. The water was pleasantly warm and Jocelyn felt herself relax as she breathed in the salty air. She could understand why people liked coming to the beach.
They stayed where the water only came up to her waist and jumped through the waves for a while. Then Keith wanted to go swimming for real and went out further, leaving her standing there watching him with a fond smile on her face. He certainly seemed like he was having fun.
Suddenly, the water seemed to physically grab her and carry her over to where he was. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her. "Gotcha!"
Jocelyn laughed and splashed him. "You scared me! I\'ve never been grabbed by water before."
"Sorry. You just looked so beautiful standing there that I couldn\'t resist."
She rolled her eyes but couldn\'t stop the smile from spreading across her face. "You really couldn\'t have swam back over to me?"
"Nope. The sight of you in a swimsuit was too much for me to bear. What can I say? I have the world\'s hottest girlfriend," Keith said in his usual dramatic way.
"Ironic since you actually have the world\'s coldest."
"Haha, very funny. Ice powers and being hot aren\'t mutually exclusive, Joss."
"That\'s reassuring."
Jocelyn was still amazed that he found her beautiful. No one else had ever said anything like that to her before he came along. She had been too invisible for anyone to notice what she looked like.
They swam around for a while (well, Keith swam and manipulated the water so Jocelyn didn\'t sink) before heading back to shore and digging around in the sand. She made a valiant attempt at building a sandcastle but it kept falling apart. He told her he needed to use more water and surreptitiously squirted some out of his hands onto her sand so it was easier to work with.
He was right at home in a place like this. She had the incongruous thought that perhaps she would feel at home in Antarctica. She doubted she would get the chance to test that theory considering how far away it was.
Jocelyn enjoyed herself at the beach partly because it was something new and partly because of how much fun Keith was having. They would have to go to ones back home more often next summer.
They grabbed dinner on their way back to the hotel and used the pool\'s showers to rinse the sand off before getting in so he could try and teach her how to swim properly. He was exceedingly patient with her when she wasn\'t doing very well trying to tread water.
He didn\'t say anything about why she couldn\'t swim until they were back in their hotel room and she was drying her hair after her shower. "Hey, Joss…why didn\'t anyone teach you how to swim?"
Jocelyn had been expecting questions. Most adults knew how to swim. He was probably waiting for the end of the day so he wouldn\'t ruin the fun while they were out and about.
She knew she had to tell him about her family sooner or later but she hadn\'t expected it to happen quite this soon. She wasn\'t going to get a better opening though. This was her best chance to get the bare bones out.
"My parents weren\'t what you would call involved. They were always drunk and fighting with each other. Most of the time they forgot I was there. I preferred it that way so I tried to keep quiet and out of their way as much as possible," she said without meeting his eyes.
"I was the product of a one-night stand. My father had a strong enough sense of responsibility to want to marry the woman he knocked up but they were never suited for each other or willing to try and work things out.
"They spent my whole life fighting and I assume they split up once I left the house. I wouldn\'t know because I didn\'t stay in contact. They blamed me for ruining their lives so why would I? They never wanted me. Not before I was born or after.
"They wouldn\'t have minded at all if I drowned. They probably would have been happy about it. So why would they bother putting their only child in swimming lessons? I didn\'t matter that much to them."
Keith seized her in a tight hug. "I\'m so sorry, Joss. You didn\'t deserve that. No kid does."
Jocelyn hadn\'t meant to sound so bitter but she had never talked about this before. Her true feelings came flooding out with the words she had kept locked inside for so long.
"No, I didn\'t. But people get saddled with all sorts of things they don\'t deserve. Hiding for most of my childhood left me a shell of a person. Nobody likes a shell. I got ignored at home unless I was being yelled at and ignored at school unless I was being bullied for being weird.
"Not having opinions on things was a survival tactic. What else could I have done? I was just a kid who didn\'t know any better. Yet I\'ve spent my whole life hated because of it. I always told myself it didn\'t matter but deep down it did. Nobody ever wanted me until I met you."
Keith kissed the top of her head and spoke quietly. "Nobody ever wanted me either. Our situations were a bit different but I know what that\'s like. I\'m sorry you had to go through that. It\'s terrible, isn\'t it?"
Tears filled her eyes. It was. It truly was.. No one should have to go so many years knowing that nobody wanted them around.