韩国AV

Why did Choi Yeon-Ha mumbling like that hurt Kang Jin-Ho’s pride a little?

Choi Yeon-Ha hurriedly changed her topic, her voice a bit panicky.

-I don\'t know exactly, but you are competent in something, okay! Even I can tell. And I also can tell that you\'re incredibly skilled in things I can\'t even comprehend properly. But! Here\'s the deal, okay?

“I’m listening.”

-The trap all the super-competent people fall into? It’s the mindset of you being the only person who can make ‘it’ happen.

-You feel like you just have to interfere since that\'s the only way to resolve things. You feel like you\'re the only one who can create a foolproof plan for everyone to follow… You keep doing that, and before you notice something is wrong, your workload has grown beyond what you can handle. The thing is, you\'ll get good results early on because of how competent you are. However, one person can\'t do ten people\'s work, Mister Jin-Ho.

Kang Jin-Ho silently listened to Choi Yeon-Ha’s lecture. What she said seemed to be engraving itself deeply into his soul.

-It\'s so obvious, to me at least, why you\'re feeling this way, Mister Jin-Ho. You think you must be more hands-on in things requiring abilities outside your wheelhouse, but that will only increase your workload. And there is still no guarantee of achieving the desired results. So, you start worrying about this topic again, but that leads to more workload…

Kang Jin-Ho suddenly felt lightheaded and nauseous. Just listening to it made his innards tumble a little.

-In short…

“Yes?”

-Have you ever heard of a Superman complex?

Kang Jin-Ho couldn\'t respond to Choi Yeon-Ha. Not because he hadn\'t heard that term before, though. It was just that when Choi Yeon-Ha brought that term up, Kang Jin-Ho suddenly became aware of where he was.

-You know, there\'s something about you that I couldn\'t help but notice…

Choi Yeon-Ha spoke in a slightly hesitant tone.

-I’m kinda reluctant to say this, Mister Jin-Ho. I’m nobody special, so it won’t be cool to bring up the superficial impression I got from you. And it also feels like I’m carelessly running my mouth because I got to know you a little better.

“I see. It’s fine, Miss Yeon-Ha. I’d like to hear your impression. Please tell me.”

Kang Jin-Ho\'s determined tone only brought silence from Choi Yeon-Ha. Although it only lasted a few seconds, this silence still felt unbearably long.

Choi Yeon-Ha broke her silence with a deep sigh.

-This is just my impression, okay? Please don’t think too deeply about it.

“Understood.”

-The way I see it, you seem a bit too obsessed with being strong, Mister Jin-Ho.

Kang Jin-Ho\'s brows quivered in surprise. He was genuinely speechless this time. His blindspots got exposed countless times throughout his life, but had he ever been stabbed directly in his heart by someone\'s words like this before?

“Obsessed with… being strong?”

Was there something wrong with that?

-Eh, well… Calling it \'strong\' is kinda weird, so let me rephrase that. Okay, so! It\'s more like I get the feeling that you are obsessed with the idea of not letting yourself fall behind others. Something like that?

Kang Jin-Ho began frowning deeply. It shouldn\'t be wrong to think that way, though? That he must not fall behind anyone? Everyone lived that way, after all.

-Yes, some people do live that way. For instance, look at my profession. Plenty of actors often go bonkers mad for three days and nights trying to get that juicy role. Even then… Out of everyone who does that, you’re noticeably strange, Mister Jin-Ho.

“In what way, Miss Yeon-Ha?”

-It’s like you’re being chased by someone.

-If you can\'t deal with this right now, if you fail to use your time efficiently, if you don\'t advance faster from your yesterday\'s self… You act as if your failure to become more competent than before will allow some unknown forces to catch up to you and swallow you up. At least, that\'s the impression I got.

“…!”

At this point in the conversation, Kang Jin-Ho was tempted to tell Choi Yeon-Ha to give up acting and start looking into a crystal ball as a psychic, instead.

-And it’s not as simple as you being in a mad rush, either. It’s like you need to be good at everything. That you have to be a leader in everything you do. If you don’t do that, something big will happen. That’s how you’re acting right now. And you weren’t like this in the past. I’m not trying to say the old you were better, though. In any case…

Choi Yeon-Ha went silent again as if to find other words to say.

-When I first met you, you had this relaxed air about you. Like you had so much time on your hands. But now, you don\'t seem to have any. If I\'m being honest… Sometimes, I kinda miss the old you. The old you, when it seemed impossible to seduce you no matter what anyone tried, with this laid-back and sly air always around you.

“...Sly?”

-You know I didn’t mean that in a negative sense, don’t you?

“Oh. Haha… ha…” Kang Jin-Ho awkwardly chuckled. Not because Choi Yeon-Ha called him sly, though. He couldn\'t bring himself to argue against what she had said so far.

Obviously, Choi Yeon-Ha had no idea how much of a rush Kang Jin-Ho was in, that he was actually being chased right now. And she\'d never guess the reason, too. Even so, she had accurately noticed the changes in Kang Jin-Ho\'s attitude.

After returning from his adventure in China, Kang Jin-Ho didn\'t take a day\'s rest and jumped both feet into the ground-up reformation of the Martial Assembly. And now, he... was currently enjoying a forced vacation.

He had been in a constant rush. A rush where everything was at stake. All because the fear of Zhongyuan\'s Three Kings invading Korea didn\'t want to leave him alone!

If he failed to get stronger as soon as possible, if the Martial Assembly failed to reform and acquire the power to defend itself as soon as possible…!

Everything would be destroyed. That was why he was in a rush.

‘I see. I\'ve been anxious.\'

It all made sense now. This tightness in his chest, all his fears regarding the uncertain outcome, the burden of deciding on the fate of strangers weighing down on his shoulders… They were byproducts of his anxiety.

Kang Jin-Ho was scared of screwing up other people\'s future? No, that was false. What he was actually scared about was his choices not being quite good enough to bring out the best in everyone.

Everyone could become stronger. More people could be strengthened to become even more perfect warriors. But Kang Jin-Ho was scared of stupidly missing out on the correct path for one reason or the other.

Time was limited, but he had to make his decision. He was scared of failing to make the best decision possible within this limited time period.

-Are you still listening, Mister Jin-Ho?

“Yes, I am.”

Indeed, he was listening closely. He wouldn\'t dare miss a single word.

-Remember what I told you earlier? That actors should focus on acting?

“...Yes, I remember.”

-Eventually, it all circles back to acting for us actors. Even if the stupid director is devoid of all directorial abilities, even if the editor is half-blind and can\'t edit one scene properly, and even if the director of photography has zero framing sense and makes us actors look like we have balloons for heads…

Kang Jin-Ho could hear Choi Yeon-Ha hyperventilate on the other side of the line.

-Even if you\'re angry enough to rip up the stupid screenplay in half, the actor\'s job is to act, Mister Jin-Ho. Yes, you can make suggestions to change minor things to the script. However, no actor dreaming of making a perfect picture can write a script, cast everyone, then carry around a camera to shoot a bizarre selfie.

“Yes, I guess you can’t.”

-That is why actors act. With a mindset of dragging anyone trying to pull you down along with them even if it kills them. Only when everything clicks as well as it should would you create as good a picture as you can create. So, what I\'m saying is this, Mister Jin-Ho. That camera doesn\'t suit you, so please put it down.

-Let\'s play our roles, shall we? Let\'s do those things we\'re good at. So what if other staff members mess some things up as long as we still get a great product at the end of the day? Do you think everything has to be perfect to produce a perfect film? Definitely not!

Choi Yeon-Ha panted loudly as her voice grew more heated.

-You experience countless cycles of things going down the drain before picking back up again. Knowing this, we all motivate ourselves to keep trying, and that\'s what creates favorable end results. I hope you understand what I\'m trying to say here, Mister Jin-Ho!

Kang Jin-Ho wordlessly nodded. Obviously, Choi Yeon-Ha couldn’t see his gesture, but it sounded like she already knew how he’d respond.

-You can be such an idiot sometimes, you know that?

Choi Yeon-Ha giggled over the phone.

-It’s okay to take off your Superman costume now. You’re already a Superman to me, anyway.

“Mm? What was that?”

-...It’s fine even if you didn’t hear me. In any case!

Choi Yeon-Ha sounded more cheerful than a minute ago.

-You mustn\'t forget what I told you before. It\'s fine to make mistakes, Mister Jin-Ho. Others will cover for you, after all. No one is there to cover it? That\'s also fine. Don\'t sweat it!

Choi Yeon-Ha harrumphed loudly.

-If you start scrutinizing a great movie, you\'ll soon find imperfections everywhere. But those imperfections don\'t necessarily devalue the movie itself. So, don\'t try to erase or remove all those little hiccups and stuff. Okay?

Kang Jin-Ho pondered in silence before replying to Choi Yeon-Ha. “It feels like I’m learning something new from you every time, Miss Yeon-Ha.”

-If you know, treat me to a hearty meal later.

“I\'m curious about something, though. How can you tell me all these things as if you\'re right next to me?”

-Really? You’re asking me that because you really don’t know?

“...Yes, I really don\'t know, and that\'s why I\'m asking you. Is there something wrong?”

Choi Yeon-Ha’s groan escaped from the phone’s speaker. Kang Jin-Ho wasn’t sure what he did wrong this time, but his instincts told him he had done something. In that case, should he apologize first?

-Mister Jin-Ho?

“Yes?”

-It’s because I’m interested in you.

“I’m sorry?”

-No one’s gonna care if some random uncle passing by scratches his head. However, if it’s you doing that, I’ll obviously start wondering why. Maybe your scalp is itchy? If so, why? Did he not wash his hair this morning? Maybe his skin is irritated? Is the weather too dry?

-I\'ll think about it, then think about it some more. And worry myself sick with it. Other people might brush it aside as nothing to worry about, but I will worry about it.

Kang Jin-Ho didn’t have to ask why she’d go that far to know the answer. He wasn’t totally clueless, after all. A grin formed on his face without him meaning to.

“I also think about you, as well.”

-I see. Once in a blue moon, then?

-Like, when you\'ve wrapped up all your work for the day, played some games on your phone, and you still have some time left to kill? Or when you went to bed but couldn\'t sleep? During those times?

Choi Yeon-Ha’s biting remarks began hurting Kang Jin-Ho to the point of cold sweat beads trickling down his forehead.

“I-it’s not to that extent, you know?”

-Well, it’s fine. Fine, I say.

“Really?”

-It\'s not important how much or often you think about me. What matters, though, is you think about me way more than other women. I hope that\'s how it is?

“...Without a doubt, I can definitely say yes.”

-Then it’s all good.

Choi Yeon-Ha’s laughter came from the phone next. Another smile floated up on Kang Jin-Ho’s face as he listened to her laugh.

It felt like he got chewed out and insulted endlessly during this phone call, yet his mood had improved considerably. What a strange phenomenon that was. If Lee Hyeon-Su had witnessed this scene, he might have questioned Kang Jin-Ho for secretly harboring an unusual fetish.

-I\'m also doing my best over here, pouring my heart and soul into my craft. I\'m sure you\'ll praise me once you see the end results later.

“I see. But please look after your health first.”

-Hmm… I’m not sure you should be the one saying that, but! Don’t worry, I’ll try.

Kang Jin-Ho almost raised his volume just then but stopped after sensing how cheerful Choi Yeon-Ha sounded.

-Did you know that you used to be a bit simpler to figure out not too long ago? But you’re quickly becoming more complex these days. That’s uncool, though! Let’s not make things more complicated than they already are, okay? Do what you can, and don’t do things you can’t. Work hard, but play hard when you get the chance, too! Okay?

“...Okay.”

-And that should be enough. I know your worries won\'t magically go away just because of my advice, but call me if you want to talk to someone. At least I can listen to you and share your burden that way.

“What if you’re in the middle of filming?”

-You calling me is much more important, though?

Kang Jin-Ho’s face reddened slightly. “Thank you for the sentiments, at least.”

-You think I\'m joking? Do I have to get a plane ticket right now and hop over there for you to see how serious I am, mister?

“...No, that won\'t be necessary. I get it.” Kang Jin-Ho chuckled softly. “It\'s getting late, Miss Yeon-Ha. I think we should hang up now.”

-Hmm, I still have other stuff to talk about, though… Oh, well. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of things to think about, anyway. Until next time, then?

“Yes. Try to get some sleep, though.”

-I should be saying that to you. Hurry and get some rest, okay?

“I will. Then, later.”

Kang Jin-Ho ended the phone call, then silently stared up at the night sky again.

‘It’s not wrong to worry.’

As he was also human, Kang Jin-Ho couldn’t help but worry about many things. But it wasn’t about falling behind. No, he was worried about finding the best way, a shortcut, to a better future.

However, maybe he should think about sharing some of his burdens now. After all, he now had people thanking him. People who believed in him. And… People who said it\'d be okay to him.

As for the night sky… It had not changed at all. But it felt strangely deeper, more unfathomable, than when Kang Jin-Ho was about to phone Choi Yeon-Ha.

...Just how his days were growing deeper and more meaningful.