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Yet, after those terrifying events, my emotions are more stable than I expected. Yes, I was constantly having nightmares, but... I don\'t know. Whenever something abnormal happens to me, I attribute it to the dark element, and maybe the reason I\'m not angry right now is because of the dark element. Moreover, today is the day Emilia\'s ice-covered corpse will reach the palace

Oh, by the way, although I don\'t have much time, I started testing the new abilities I gained. First of all, I am currently at Kaizer stage 4. I have the elements of air, water, fire, and dark. In these four elements, I currently have four unique abilities each, which means a total of 16 unique abilities.

Yes, this might seem like a lot, but since I haven\'t mastered the elements except for the dark element, I can\'t use them to their full potential. Especially the air element. It\'s the one I\'m the worst at. But briefly, I noted down each of my elemental powers on a piece of paper and hid this paper in my shadow.

Starting with the fire element:

1. Fireball

2. Fire ring

3. Fire sword

4. Fire roar

By the way, I name all my abilities myself, but it helps me roughly remember what they are. Moving on to other elements...

Air element:

1. Air ball

2. Air sound

3. Air shield

4. Air shoes

Yes, I guess I\'m not very skilled at naming them... But the last ability I gained, air shoes, I used involuntarily when I attacked the jester for the last time and incredibly quickly grabbed his throat. I think the intense emotions I felt at that moment somehow activated the ability.

As for the water element...

1. Water ball

2. Water breath... Yes, water breath

3. Water fountain...

4. Water man...

I think I should ask someone for help with naming them.

And finally, the abilities I gained in the dark element:

1. Storage of Darkness

2. Body of Darkness

3. Darkness Fireball

4. Dark exploitation

As for the last ability I gained... I\'m still not entirely sure, but I think it\'s a spell that absorbs incoming attacks. The few small experiments I secretly conducted before made me understand that this ability absorbs magical attacks, but I don\'t know how powerful it is.

After all, if someone attack me with magic, and later on, I block their magic attack with a spell they\'ve never seen or heard of, that person would probably question what it is. They might even claim that I made a pact with a demon and gained demonic power.

Also, I learned the hard way that the last dark element ability only blocks spells. When I looked at my right hand, it was still bandaged. While lost in my thoughts, the voices of the guards waiting at the palace gate brought me back to myself. Today was the day Emilia\'s corpse would reach the palace, so everyone was on high alert.

Although I still felt pain for her somewhere deep inside, I had to suppress these emotions. After all, there were people around me who trusted me, and I couldn\'t appear weak to them.

Taking a deep breath, I got out of bed and looked out the window. The palace garden looked flawless, as always. On one hand, I was thinking that I needed to pull myself together, and on the other hand, I was planning how I could better use the new abilities I gained. The powers granted by the dark element particularly intrigued me. However, I was also aware of how dangerous these powers could be.

I walked to the end of the corridors and stepped outside through the main door, where I saw Emilia\'s ice-covered body in the back of a waiting carriage. From a distance, she still hadn\'t lost her beauty. But now, under the bright sunlight, although Emilia still looked beautiful, the many scars on her body painted a painful picture for me.

Just as my emotions were about to rise, I realized once again that the dark element was stopping me.

I could now easily understand that the dark element was trying to control my emotions. Perhaps it was because I was becoming more skilled and stronger in the dark element. However, I still didn\'t understand how it worked. Firstly, I don\'t know what the dark element relies on to affect my emotions.

Initially, I thought the dark element only suppressed emotions that would make me appear weak, but I guess this isn\'t entirely accurate... It\'s too early to reach a definite conclusion.

"What would you like us to do, Your Excellency?" asked the royal knight.

"Bring her to my room," I said.

I noticed some curious glances and also saw the royal knight\'s eyebrows furrow for a moment because of what I said. After all, necrophilia was naturally a great sin in this world. In fact, it was a greater crime than it was in my previous world. The main reason for this was that necromancers or corpse wizards, as they were known, were considered sinners in all religions in this world.

The knights carried Emilia\'s ice-covered body to my room. After they respectfully bowed and exited the room, I immediately approached Emilia\'s body and activated my Kaizer power to perform the experiment I had previously considered. After drawing the curtains, I moved Emilia\'s body to the most suitable shadow in the room and tried to place her inside it.

No living being can enter there, and if Emilia is still alive, this is the best way I can find out.

But... But... In the end, her ice-covered body entered my shadow... I don\'t know what to say. Until now, I hadn\'t fully accepted that Emilia was dead... This might be the first moment I truly understood that she was indeed gone.

Even if she\'s dead, it might be possible to bring her back to life... Right? Although I haven\'t read about anything like this happening before in the royal library during my research over the past all week, I still have a glimmer of hope. After all, a week of research doesn\'t prove anything.

—Bumm!

When my fist suddenly hit the wall next to me like a nail, I realized how intense my emotions were.

—Bumm!

When I hit again, I noticed my anger increasing with each punch.

—Bumm!

When I punched the wall once more, I realized these intense emotions weren\'t just anger.

—Bumm!

And when my now bloody hand finally entered the hollow in the wall, I understood that all this anger was actually an effect of regret and self-hatred.

In the end, both of my hands were now injured. But I wish only my hands were wounded...

I dropped myself onto the floor. When just a few tears flowed from my eyes, I realized once again that the dark element had activated.

"Damn it!"

Now that I think about it, why do I still keep Emilia\'s already dead body with me... Why don\'t I just let her go?

Shut up!

Why don\'t I ensure she finds peace? Why do I continue to torment Emilia\'s body?

Because of your bitch mother!

Why? Maybe the reason I do this is that of my own selfishness? After all, her body is encased in ice, not because she wanted it, but because I wanted it.

Shut up...

Why don\'t I just accept it? The reason I haven\'t sent off Emilia, who had such a valuable place in my life as she deserved, is because of my own despicable self.

Please, just be quiet...

Emilia, who saved my life, did it because she wanted to, and because she elevated herself to a higher level of being as a hero before she died. Her death was actually a release for her... Why can\'t I just accept this?

Please...

Accepting something that has already happened will only hurt me. Look at the end of those who have gone against nature! They have met the most terrible ends. Who am I to defy Mother Nature just to satisfy my personal feelings? But one must not forget that the painful reality of life, just like happiness, is temporary... Ultimately, when happiness ends, only what is real remains...

Just... just be quiet...

I must now accept the harshest reality of existence. Accepting the truth is virtuous... Running from the truth eventually leads to the greatest disappointment. Life or existence is ultimately a joke that isn\'t funny but constantly confronts us. Things rarely go as we wish in life, and in the end, there\'s a truth we all forget or try to escape by attempting to forget...

That is the annoying, inevitable nature of death.