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Chapter 377: Chapter 341

Not really.

I could weigh the odds of the decision that Salem made when I made my introduction. However, there were variables I couldn\'t account for. I expected her to try and assert her authority so as to not lose credence in front of her minions, but....all the pressure that was built up sort of deflated once I introduced myself as Wilhelm\'s woman. Her hostility almost completely evaporated even if she kept putting up the front.

...I admit that it was strange to see her suddenly become so passive.

The actions of Wilhelm were basically a blind spot due to his nature of an outsider here. So I wasn\'t really aware what he\'d been up to other than what he\'s mentioned. So to see her react like this was.... promising.

It slightly lessened some of my worst fears, however, I would still check to make sure.

"So you\'re the Relic of Knowledge." Salem stared at me from across the table.

She didn\'t even bother to free her minions after I \'trapped\' them. Not that they were in any harm, but I suppose that\'s about par for Salem\'s personality. She\'ll probably free them later once I leave.

"That\'s right." Technically, I was the Spirit of the Relic, but that\'s really just semantics.

"I had heard that the relic had a spirit from Ozma. But I did not expect it to be...."

"Be what?" I leaned forward onto the table. "Beautiful? Enchanting?"

"Seductive." She snorted.

"That\'s right, I seduced Wilhelm" I said without shame. "I bent my little blue ass over and let him do whatever he wanted to me. Does that make you jealous~"

She was at a loss for words. She clearly didn\'t expect me to confirm it and be so blunt about it.

Hmph, it\'s not like I\'m ashamed of landing myself a good man.

"Ridiculous." She scoffed. "Why are you here? Are you not afraid I will capture you? You obviously know what my goal is."

"Right, that stupid goal of yours." I rolled my eyes. "How\'s that been coming along? Collect the relics, summon the Brother Gods. Commit suicide by God. Great plan."

"Did you just come here to mock me?" She narrowed her eyes.

"You have an inflated sense of importance. Why would I bother coming all the way here just to mock you?" I slapped the table, in the blink of an eye, a Magical Circle appeared, utterly disintegrating it. "If you want to die so badly, I\'d be more than willing to answer your wish myself."

"You think you can undo the curse by your creators?" She scoffed again, though there was a hint of wariness in her tone at seeing my little display. "Ozma has been trying to do such a thing for centuries."

"Don\'t even get me started on him. Do you know how many times I\'ve been asked the question \'How do I kill Salem?\'". Way too many times!

Dammit Ozpin, ask a better damn question. His biggest flaw was that he couldn\'t overlook his own self importance and maybe ask \'how could someone kill Salem?\'.

Nope, he always had to single himself out.

\'How do I be the hero of the story\'.

Idiot.

It felt nice though, my restrictions have been.....loosened considerably. My time away from Remnant fried a lot of my internal programming.

I couldn\'t quite give away secrets, but if something was obvious or they could rationalize it themselves with some little effort, I could say it.

"Of course that fool would be wasteful with you." Salem snorted, a twitch of amusement on her face. It quickly disappeared though. "Why have you come here?"

"That\'s a good question." I crossed my legs. "I\'m here because my man is a bit of an idiot. He\'s sweet and caring, but he can get blinded if he cares for someone. Unfortunately, and for reasons I\'m still trying to understand, you\'ve caught his attention and he\'s developed feelings for you."

How much easier would this be if it was just a case of him lusting after her? Oh, I have no doubt he wants to get up under that dress. I know exactly what kind of fat ass she\'s hiding under there and I\'m sure he\'s inspected it thoroughly from the outside. But no, he wouldn\'t pursue this kind of extended relationship if that were the case. Not that he isn\'t a lustful little devil, but it doesn\'t make his decisions bar what happened with Venelana. There are plenty of very attractive women around him that he doesn\'t have feelings for. And in Venelana\'s case, well, I don\'t think Wilhelm stood a chance there.

I think most of us would have been seduced by her if she put in the effort. It was a good lesson for him, and I don\'t expect it to happen again, so I didn\'t really mind in the end.

"Are you here to warn me?" She snorted in disdain.

"Yes." I didn\'t deny it. "You\'re in a unique position that you can actually hurt the man I care about. And I will go to extensive lengths to protect him."

"If I wished to harm him, he has given me every opportunity to do so until now." She crossed her arms in response.

"Please, like you could physically harm him." I chuckled, making her raise an eyebrow. "No I\'m talking about hurting him in other ways. I know who you are, Salem. I know everything you\'ve done, I\'ve known every sin you\'ve committed and every dirty deed to your name. So, I\'m here to make sure you\'re not scheming to use him for your own ends."

"And what if I am?" She challenged. "What if I\'m using him to collect all of the relics for my personal goal? What If I\'m using him, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to kill me?" She stated, not believing my earlier bravado.

"I will."

"Hmph. You said he had \'feelings\' for me? And how will you explain that to him?"

"I\'ll tell him." I said with complete honesty. "He may hate me afterwards. He may even kick me out. But compared to seeing him hurt because you played with him, I think it\'d be worth it."

The thought of him finding out that she just wants to die after he became so invested, it would break his heart. I heard about what happened after Scáthach, and then he recently had to kill another version of Artoria.

I refuse to allow him to be hurt like that again.

He\'s always trying to make sure we\'re all taken care of. He promised he would take care of me. Well, right now, it\'s my turn to take care of him.

If I have to cut off this problem at the root....I\'ll do it.

"I\'m here to make sure you\'re not just playing with the man I care for." I straightened up in my seat.

"....you truly believe what you have just spoken. That you can and will strike me down if you suspect me." She looked at me strangely.

"That\'s right, I can grant you your wish. I can kill you right now if you want." I learned quite a few things from my time away. That includes the work arounds for Salem\'s little curse.

Killing Immortal creatures isn\'t something as impossible in other worlds. It\'s happened plenty of times even in Wilhelm\'s birth world and I\'ve taken the time to study many things there.

Salem was pitiful in a way. She was cursed because she pleaded with the God of Darkness to resurrect Ozma – her love, after the God of Light refused her. And after a series of events, she and Ozma became enemies after the death of their children.

Since then, she\'s been nothing but a bundle of hatred and anger. However, she didn\'t always want to die. No, she originally just wanted to lash out at the world and make everyone suffer like she had.

And they did. For centuries the Grimm ran rampant under her commands after she had fallen into the Grimm Pools and became one with the corrupted influence. It would have normally killed someone on contact, but the curse that ran through her soul was enough to sustain her so she survived and gained her \'control\' over Grimm.

The Gods in their infinite wisdom, forced Ozma into a weird state of reincarnation to combat Salem. Every time he died, he would pop up in another body and basically subsume what was originally there.

And they fought a shadow war over the centuries until it slowly started to die down. And over time, Salem slowly became more and more apathetic about the world until she finally just grew tired of it all and wanted it to end.

Of course, she never told anyone her true goals. Even Ozma thinks she desires the relics to destroy the world or some other nefarious purpose.

Granted, the Brother Gods will probably wipe out all living beings on the planet if Salem summons them...but that isn\'t really her intent.

Not that it makes it any better.

But surprisingly.... "You\'re hesitating." I pointed out. "It should have been a simple affirmation, but you\'re hesitating."

Oh my sweet man, did you really manage to move her heart?

I was skeptical, the whole reason I came here was because I didn\'t quite believe it. But looking at her now.....

"My matters are none of your business." She practically snarled.

"When they involve my man, they most certainly are." I didn\'t back down. "Salem, what are your intentions towards Wilhelm?"

Seeing her scowl and avoid my gaze was...telling.

"Okay." I clapped my hands. "I won\'t interfere."

"Excuse me?" Salem was taken off guard again.

"I won\'t interfere." I reiterated.

"You come here and.....threaten me in my domain. You claim to be able to kill me despite my immortality and now....you give up?"

"That was only if you were planning on using him. I would have ended you without a second thought. However, I won\'t interfere in your relationship with him." I replied to her.

"And If I decide that I want nothing to do with him hence forth?" She looked at me curiously.

"I will say nothing and I will do nothing. It\'s not my place to meddle with this part of his relationships. If that\'s what you choose, he\'ll be hurt for awhile, but he\'ll get over it. I can\'t force you to get together with him just because he likes you." I shook my head.

No, I was only coming here to make sure he wasn\'t blinded by his own emotions. Maybe to also reassure myself that he would be fine if he chose this. Her hesitance was enough for now, it showed that she was at least considering more than a simple relationship.

"...and if I chose the opposite?" She asked softly. "It\'s as you have said. I have done terrible things in my life. You claim to know all of it, will you not speak against any union?" She probed me a little which....was odd to see.

Was she worried how Wilhelm would see her?

Jeez Wilhelm, just what did you do to this woman? This is not how I remember the Grimm Queen acting.

"What makes you think he isn\'t aware of your past?" I responded. Well, he isn\'t aware of the finer details, but.....he can easily fill in the blanks.

Seeing her eyes widen slightly, I guess she didn\'t realize the extent that Wilhelm knew about her.

He did ask me about her with my third question. He did see her life – in part – through my abilities.

She really does have some sort of concern and interest there. It seems like I made this trip here for nothing after all. At Least I can relay the news to everyone else as well. I know Artoria was having mixed feelings due to Salem\'s past – from what I was able to tell her before. This should make her less concerned for now and willingly to wait until things get further along.

Salem....wasn\'t always the Grimm Queen. Maybe there\'s some of that woman still in there somewhere that\'s latching at the possibility of being something better? Looking for something other than just to end her depressing existence.

I trust Wilhelm.

I can\'t say for sure if things will work out, but I know that if it isn\'t working or any of us disagree with it, he won\'t force it.

So, I may as well let things settle here.

Still, seeing the confident and tyrannical Grimm Queen look a tiny bit flustered was....amusing.

"...what happens now?" She asked.

"Well, I suppose I should apologize for my entrance then leave. However...we could also.....talk for a while?" I offered.

Clearly some things happened that I was unaware about. Wilhelm was probably his usual self and somehow charmed her enough that she\'s now hesitating with regards to her former plans and considering something extended.

I may as well try to get to know my new \'sister\' better even if I technically know her already.

"...I would not be against it." She said softly.

I\'ll give her a chance.

I just hope it isn\'t misplaced.

[***]

Wilhelm POV

"Hurtful words, Schweinorg-kun." Urahara Kisuke said cheerfully, not really looking insulted in the slightest. "I\'m just a simple shop owner."

"Sex shop?"

"Pfft." Yorucihi erupted in laughter, literally rolling on the ground.

"Erm...not that kind of shop." He was a little caught off guard by my words. "It\'s a Candy shop." He smiled brightly.

"...I repeat what I said, sketchy as fuck." I looked at Yoruichi on the ground. "Does he also have a nondescript white van he drives around in?"

"Hahahahaha!" Yoruichi\'s laughter intensified. "He does, he does!!"

"Right....So, you looking for me? Should I point out that I\'m not a child that can be tempted into your van with some candy?"

He twitched a little before taking a fan out of his large sleeves. He tapped it against his palm with a strange smile on his face. "You are an interesting person, Schweinorg-kun."

"I love when people praise me. Do it some more."

He paused again for a moment. "You really don\'t follow the scripts, do you?"

"Well, when suspicious people approach me, I tend not to stick to normal social conventions." I relaxed a little. "What can I help you with?"

He was giving me the same vibes as Azazel, just without the....sleaziness to accompany it. No, it felt like he wanted to probe me and delve into my secrets.

"I was curious about something, I wonder if you could help me."

"I already know what you\'re going to ask."

"You do?" He looked amused, unfolding his fan.

"I\'m sorry to say, that I was simply born this handsome, there\'s no secret to achieve such flawlessness." I nodded sagely.

"Ara ara, Schweinorg-kun. That\'s nice to know, but it wasn\'t what I wished to asked."

The best way to deal with this type of person? Keep them completely on the back foot with random nonsense until you can figure out their goal.

"Well, then I have no idea what you could possibly want from me....unless....fashion advice?" I adjusted my tie. "I have a good eye for this sort of thing. My friend actually made this outfit, very durable while also being elegant and stylish."

He hummed, seemingly ignoring my remarks. "I was more concerned about the abrupt change in weather we experienced earlier."

"Yeah, what a freaky storm that popped out of nowhere." I acted clueless.

"One might say man made." He grinned.

"Question."

"Hmm?"

"Why not \'woman made\'?" I asked. "Why couldn\'t a woman have made it?"

"I suppose –"

"Yeah, Kisuke." Yoruichi joined in. "What\'s wrong with women, huh?"

Alright, I was really starting to like Yoruichi, he\'s pretty fun.

"Person-made, then." He forced a smiled. I don\'t think he enjoyed being constantly on the back foot like this, but it made me amused.

"Yoruichi is a Cat. Does he count as a person? Or do we need another qualifier for him?"

"That\'s a good question. As a cat, do I count as a person, Kisuke?" Yoruichi looked up at Urahara.

"That also does beg the question on if Shinigami also count as \'persons\'. They\'re spirits, do they get the same nomenclature that a \'human\' would?"

"What, of course they do." Yoruichi countered. "They\'re people, they have the same feelings, they think, and all that."

"Well, so do you as a cat. Hell, aren\'t higher level Hollows smart as well? Are you going to count those giant monsters as \'people\'? And Shinigami are souls, they\'re like...remnants of people or something." I replied.

Well, I was just playing devil\'s advocate in this random argument. I didn\'t actually think this way.

Though, Urahara Kisuke over there just looked confused and kind of unsure of how to respond.

"Ahem." He cleared his throat. "I believe we\'ve gone off topic."

"You can\'t go off something you were never on in the first place." I said dryly. "You never did actually tell me what you wanted from me, just playing coy and trying to poke at me for some answers." I got a little serious.

"Very well, I\'ll get right to the point." He snapped his fan shut. "What are you." His eyes narrowed. "Your Reiatsu vaguely feels like a human, but there\'s other things I can\'t quite place. I was almost ready to call you a Hollow due to a dark nature hidden inside it as well, but that isn\'t quite right either. Then you do something I didn\'t think was possible for a human, and something that would take exceptional effort even from a Shinigami. You changed the weather in a several mile radius. That\'s ignoring what you did with the Lightning. So, Schweinorg-kun, What are you?" There was a special glint in his eyes as if he was trying to see through me.

"Kisuke." Yoruichi intoned. "We talked about this."

His demeanor changed back to something playful as his fan unfolded again. "Ah, Yoruichi, I\'m not asking~" He chuckled. "I\'m just a little curious. If Schweinorg-kun would be willing to talk to me about some things, I don\'t mind helping you learn Kidō." There was a phantom of a little smug smile on his face.

"Help me learn Kidō?" I questioned. "Tessai seemed pretty confident that a Human wasn\'t really capable of it, despite what effort we put into his teaching."

"Well, Tessai may be better at me when it comes to Kidō. However, when it comes to figuring things out, I think I have him beat there. I\'m pretty confident I can help you learn it." Urahara stated.

"If you\'re confident, then that means it\'s possible for me regardless and I don\'t really need you, do I?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I can guarantee that without my help it will be nearly impossible –"

"Hadō #1, Shō." I extended my finger, pointing at the hat on his head. The invisible force shot off like a bullet, sending his hat flying off and landing onto the ground nearby.

There was a moment of silence as both Yoruichi and Urahara digested what I just did.

"You were saying?"

He didn\'t speak immediately, he walked over to pick up his hat and dusted it off before putting it back on his head. "You\'re an interesting young man, Schweinorg-kun. I look forward to talking with you in the future. I hope you stop by my shop at some point, I would be more than welcome to host you."

He didn\'t try to say anything else, instead he turned around with a light smile on his face and hummed as he walked away.

"That just happened." I grunted. "So.....your friend?" I looked at Yoruichi still at my side.

"Huh, it\'s weird seeing him not getting the advantage out of someone in a conversation."

"It\'s called bullshitting." I replied.

"Hahaha, well it worked. Kisuke is the type that can\'t not know something. So....he\'ll probably try to poke and prod you until he gets answer to his questions. He\'s...he means well. He\'s not a bad guy, so don\'t be too hard on him, please." Yoruichi hopped back up onto my shoulder. "By the way, when did you learn Kidō? Tessai\'s going to be so happy once he finds out!"

"Just picked it up recently."

"Right." Yoruichi snorted. "Just picked it up. Was the ability to cast Kidō laying on the side of the road next to the Zanpakutō you also happened to find?"

"Yup." I said shamelessly. "You got anything else going on today? I could use your help with something."

"Not really. You pretty much cleared my schedule today with the whole – storm thing on the hollows. I doubt there are any in the city right now."

"Alright, let\'s head back to my place."

[***]

"Home sweet home!" I pushed the door open.

"Just as many holes in it as you left it." Yoruichi jumped off my shoulder.

"It gives the place character." I clapped my hands, looking into my Ring for a few things.

"So, whatcha need?" Yoruichi asked.

"I was curious about this Hohō thing we talked about earlier. How difficult is it to learn this movement technique?" I produced the book of it and set it down infront of us.

"Where the hell did you get this?" Yoruichi was already inspecting the book intently.

"Internet."

"Just so you know, I seriously am thinking you mugged some Shinigami around here and stole all of their stuff. If we get some naked person running up to the shop trying to replace his stolen gear...."

"I thought you sold candy?"

"That\'s just a front for the living. We actually sell supplies for the spiritual side of things. Where do you think that kid got his Hollow Bait from?"

"...Yoruichi, what the fuck?"

"What? Don\'t look at me like that, it\'s a legitimate resource for hunting Hollows. I wasn\'t just covering our asses when I said that it shouldn\'t have summoned all those Hollows. Especially that Menos that popped up. That was a freak accident – a one in a billion chance of happening."

"Fine, I\'ll believe you."

"You can also come by like he said. Some stuff there might interest you."

"I may go over and check it out." I shrugged.

"I\'ll tell Kisuke to not be an ass. He\'s not that bad once you get to know him." Yoruichi tried to reassure me again. "But what\'d you want help with specifically? You wanna learn this, right? I\'d say that a human learning was unlikely, but.....just casted Kidō apparently."

"Hey, quick question."

"Hmm?"

"Does your shop ever actually sell candy?" I asked.

"Haha, no. Do you really think parents would let their kids come to a shop that Kisuke runs and buy candy? Nah, all the kids in the neighborhood know to stay away from the \'creepy old man\'."

"That\'s hilarious and I\'ll remember it when I go visit." I may as well stop over at some point. It\'s not like that guy pissed me off or anything. I just don\'t like people trying to poke me for answers and it was obvious what he was doing.

"Anyways, what can you tell me about Hohō?" I got comfortable as I leaned against the nearby table. "It\'s basically what you\'ve been doing, right?"

"Kinda." Yoruichi held up his paw in a so-so motion. "Hohō is the umbrella term and it has some...layers. But if you want to get to the base of it, the highest form and most important form is known as Shunpo."

Right, I had several Shinigami mention that term. It basically means \'flash step\'.

"The idea is to travel a certain distance in the least amount of steps possible. Like, imagine trying to cover the distance of this room in a single step. That\'s the concept behind it."

"I think I understand the concept. It makes for intense bursts of speed, but it also sounds like pivoting and immediate change of directions are its flaws."

"Basically, yeah. A master of it can sorta overcome those, but it\'s just a matter of doing them really fast as opposed to the technique overcoming those limitations." Yoruichi explained. "Here I\'ll show you –" Yoruichi said, but paused a moment later. "Actually, it\'s probably better that I show you in my actual form."

Before I could even question what he meant by that, he was suddenly enveloped in a puff of smoke.

No longer was a cat sitting in the middle of the room.

That is to say, no longer was he, sitting in the middle of the room.

Now, there was long purple hair sitting atop a dark skinned head with yellow eyes staring back at me. The smoke began to clear up and there was something immediately noticeable about this person now sitting here.

Two, large and round mounds bounced slightly, a little giggle to accompany them.

A woman.

My eyes trailed downwards, she was completely naked and I soaked in that chocolate skin of hers and made sure to burn those legs into my memory. In fact, she even spread her legs slightly and let me get a complete look at her.

"See something you like~?" Even her voice was completely different as she teased me. "Didn\'t expect this did you?"

Admittedly, I did not, and I\'m still taking a moment to process that a beautiful naked woman was sitting right in front of me.

"Haha, got nothing to say?" She was clearly enjoying getting a reaction out of me. "I knew it, you\'re just – "

"It\'s purple all the way down, huh."

"T-that\'s what you focus on!?"

"Well, did you expect me to focus on anything else?" I raised an eyebrow. I can play this game too. "I\'ve seen better."

And she didn\'t quite know how to respond to that.

[***]

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