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Well… fiancés in Malachi\'s case.

Mal, Bianca, Anna, Sei, Luna, and even Nadine were all seated at the table awkwardly.

After receiving the sight from Thea, (save for Nadine because she already had it) the group could now see Mal\'s parents sitting at the table in the form of spectral ghosts.

While outwardly they appeared silent, internally the group was in an utter panic.

Bianca: \'You jerk! How could you not tell us your parents were back!\'

Malachi: \'I didn\'t think they would come out of the box so soon! I thought Aubrey would atleast wait for me so we could let them out together!\'

Anna: \'Your mom was in the room while I was sucking you off, your mom was in the room while I was sucking you off, your mom-\'

Bianca: \'Look, now you broke Anna!\'

Sei: \'Oh what they must think of me… I\'m sure I look like some kind of predator!\'

Luna: \'Worst case scenario, I say we blame this all on Nadine and say that she has compelled us into this relationship and is the only real predator here.\'

Nadine: \'Hey!\'

Sei: \'Y-You are the oldest, hon…\'

Nadine: \'So?! Use Jo, she\'s still sleeping!\'

Sei: \'It would make her cranky...\'

Luna: \'You are just one big bundle of fluff and lust so it\'ll be fine to throw you under the bus a bit. You\'ll forgive us.\'

Nadine: \'That\'s not fair!\'

Bianca: \'We\'ll make it up to you later?\'

Nadine: \'…I want to watch all ten seasons of Tyler Perry\'s House of Payne and have sex for two nights straight.\'

Malachi: \'We\'d have to spend over a week in the house for that…\'

Nadine: \'Take it or leave it, bitches!\'

"You don\'t seem to have missed us very much."

Malachi and the girls almost jumped when he heard his mother Felicia speak after over ten minutes of silence.

"C-Course I did, ma, I\'m just… a little surprised is all."

"You surprised..? The hell do you think I am...?"

"Is our first conversation now that you\'re back going to be a lecture...?"

"Is there anything more important than the fact that I\'ve got a slew of daughters-in-law I don\'t know nothing about and a one year old grand baby I\'ve never met!?"

"...!" Malachi aggressively gestured to his deep black skin, fanged teeth, and the literal animals coming out of his back.

But Felicia remained unswayed.

"Boy ain\'t nobody worried about them little wiggle worms you got, and you used to turn that color in the summertime when you were a little boy anyway." She dismissed.

"Where did the time go... It feels like it was just yesterday that he was crying cause I got him out of bed to do yard work... Now my boy is cut like a block of marble and turned his spot into the playboy mansion..." Marcus sighed in disappointment.

Malachi had absolutely no words to describe how he was feeling in this exact moment.

His fiancés were also largely unsure of whether or not they should laugh or cry.

The snakes looked among themselves as if they were trying to decide how they felt about their identities being reduced to \'Wiggle Worms.\'

Unsurprisingly, Aisha was the only one who was giggling furiously and trying to keep it all together.

"I\'m sorry, we\'re probably being rude." Felicia smiled warmly at the girls for the first time today and calmed their feelings of anxiety.

She smiled at Sei in a friendly manner, and even took her by the hand.

"I swear, I don\'t know what my boy could have said to convince you to let him date your daughter, but I hope he\'s at least been on his best behavior."

Just like that, everyone\'s smiles were wiped away.

Aisha snorted so hard that lemonade came out of her nose and she had a small coughing fit.

"What..? Did I say something wrong?" Felicia looked around in confusion.

"W-Well... my daughter isn\'t dating your son... I am." Sei smiled nervously hoping that it would make this situation less awkward.

Felicia tried several times to blink away her surprise but failed miserably at every instance.

Anna was practically glued to Sei in an attempt to hide her embarrassment, hence the reason why Felicia mistook her as being her mother.

"..." In quick succession, her gaze swiveled between Nadine, Luna, and Sei once again.

"S-So you all... w-with my son...?"

"""…Yes...""" the girls replied in unison.

Felicia was at a complete and utter loss for words.

But Marcus wasn\'t.

"Damn. The boy got a type."

"H-Hush, Marcus!"

"You know, I should\'ve known his tastes was like this when he kept asking if he could spend the night at school in elementary. He didn\'t even like doing homework at that age!"

Malachi briefly remembered his old teacher Mrs. Jenkins, the first woman to give him a big boy dream.

...He had indeed known what he liked for a very long time.

*Click!*

As if things couldn\'t have possibly gotten any worse, at that moment the bedroom door opened and Joanne walked out.

Out of habit, Joanne only sleeps in a bra and whichever pair of Malachi\'s boxers that she fishes out of his drawer that night.

She stepped out into view still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and with her hair messily strewn across her face.

"Babe, Sei, do we have anything in the fridge to ea..." As the crust slowly fell away from Joanne\'s eyes, she all but had a heart attack when she saw the full table.

Joanne\'s blessing came from Cassiel, an archangel from heaven.

As such, she could also see dead spirits with no necessary alteration to her eyesight, she just couldn\'t hear their voices.

But given the current circumstances, she hardly needed to.

"F-Fuck, guys, tell me when we have company!"

Joanne slammed the door closed and ran back into their room at the speed of light.

"...I guess she\'s another one of yours?" Felicia asked.

"Yes-"

"S-She\'s also my mom!" Anna blurted without being able to stop herself.

After so much information and revelations being dumped into the mind of Felicia Saint in such a short timespan, she reacted the only way that any upstanding mother would have.

She fainted.

Marcus caught his wife as she fell into his lap and carefully arranged her head so that she could rest comfortably.

"Well... she\'ll be out for a little bit so I figure this is as good a time as any to make introductions. My name is Marcus Saint and I\'m Mal and Aubrey\'s father. It\'s nice to meet you all."

One by one, the girls began introducing themselves with meager and polite smiles while inwardly trying to shake the horrible feelings in their hearts.

"I wanted to... clear the air just a bit." Marcus sighed. "You have to understand, last we saw Mal he wouldn\'t even talk to a girl, let alone... anything else."

Anna and Bianca lowered their heads in shame as they recalled the painful scene from earlier all over again.

"A-Anyway." Marcus continued. "We understand that grief has it\'s ways of changing people to a pretty frightening degree.

We\'re just a bit worried that in our absence our son turned to filling the void with women recklessly.

He, and all of you, deserve better than something shallow like that."

Miraculously, the tension that had been hovering in the air for a while now seemed to have cleared up pretty quickly.

Sei was still tiring her fingers uncomfortably like she was afraid to speak, but eventually she gathered the courage.

"A-Actually... Malachi and I began dating first around two years ago and it was just us then...

I was actually the one who gave him permission to bring others into the relationship. He hadn\'t even asked about it..."

\'Good god, son, what kind of pipe are you laying on these women?!\' Marcus wanted to ask.

"If I\'m honest... When Mal first asked me out I thought it was just some minor fascination that he would quickly get over... but as time went on, he continued to love me more and more everyday.

Once I… started to develop more intimate feelings for him, I got scared of what would happen if Mal\'s attention was stolen by someone younger, skinnier, and more beautiful... so I gave him permission."

Marcus couldn\'t help but look at the two younger and skinnier looking girls at the table.

Sei smiled as she wrapped their arms around both of them like they were irreplaceable parts of her life.

"It was awkward at first when others came around, but then... everyday just became brighter and more fun. Suddenly I had a man who loved me, and five new best friends to-"

"I am your only best friend." Luna corrected. "Give the rest of the scrubs some other title."

"""Excuse us!?"""

"I didn\'t stutter."

"See? There is never a dull moment." Sei smiled.

"I can tell…" Marcus smiled at the group.

Papa Saint finally held up his hands in surrender.

"Then I have no more complaints. She\'ll probably need a little more time to wrap her mind around this, but just know that Felicia and I wish you all the best and hope that you will keep taking care of our little pimp- I mean, son. "

Malachi made a face as if he didn\'t find the joke funny, but the girls did.

"You\'re done now, right?" Marcus suddenly asked. "I mean, I think you\'ve got some pretty full hands already, yea?"

Malachi uddenl turned his head to the side and whistled.

Marcus\' jaw went slack. "You\'re joking... Son, I did not give you that much penis for you to be giving so much of it out like this."

"I so do not want to have this conversation with you..." Mal had never realized it before, but perhaps there were advantages to having dead parents that he didn\'t appreciate.

"You gon\' hurt your back one of these days, and I won\'t do nothing but laugh at you."

Malachi only rolled his eyes while the girls held their sides with laughter.

"Alright, alright, I\'m just jostling ya. So who is lucky lady number... seven? Jesus, just saying it makes you sound like a hoe."

"Dad."

"Sorry, sorry, continue."

Against his better judgment, Malachi parted his lips and told his father about the final woman he had developed a romantic interest in.

And try as he might\'ve to be supportive, Marcus was still getting used to all of this multiple partners stuff, so his response wasn\'t as productive as his son would have liked.

"...You are such a hoe."

"Dad!"