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Chapter 391: Pretty Lies II

Stepping forward, I stood amidst the flickering targets, sword in hand, trying to lose myself in the familiar rhythm of combat drills.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

My mind was a mess.

When left with nothing to do, my thoughts never stopped churning.

If I wasn\'t thinking about yesterday, then I thought about Emir, theorizing what he had in store.

That was a problem that I had to resolve... I simply couldn\'t function like this.

So losing myself here was the only solution that I thought of.

Schwing!

Each swing and parry should have been more fluid, but today they felt extremely disjointed and clumsy as if I was fighting against more than just holograms.

Memories from the outpost surfaced uninvited, playing out in my mind with vivid clarity.

The chaos, the anger... the fear, the damn FEAR.

They looked at me with such unbridled fear that struck to the core.

It was as if I had sent them to hell.

Gone was the stampede that ran me close to death, replaced by pitiful men and women who begged me like I was their god.

They desperately held onto my feet, dragging themselves along the bloodied ground, looking up at me with eyes that screamed terror.

Schwing!

Like the hologram before me, I had cut them and their hope away, kicking off those who managed to hold on.

I didn\'t even give them a second of attention.

They either had no life insurance or the package they purchased couldn\'t cover their level of injury.

So I followed my cohort\'s lead, acting as if they weren\'t there.

Now... all that came back to bite me.

Emotions that I couldn\'t even name-they all swirled together, creating a storm that threatened to overwhelm me.

Schwing!

I swung my sword with more force than necessary, trying to channel my frustration into each strike.

"You\'re a waste of space."

But as the hologram struck back, that fucker\'s words cut through me like a blade.

I gritted my teeth, trying to push the thoughts away, but they persisted, gnawing at my resolve.

Those in the stampede were angry, scared, and on tenth thought, I couldn\'t blame them. They saw me as someone who didn\'t belong, someone who couldn\'t handle the pressure- someone in over their head.

An Elite who mistook having the best equipment for having actual skill.

Maybe they were right. Maybe I was just a burden, dragging everyone down with me.

\'No! That\'s not a valid excuse!\'

My thoughts earned a response from my memories.

A reminder of the screams of hunters, the smell of smoke and blood-it was all too much.

I could almost feel the ground trembling beneath my feet again, and hear the panicked shouts ringing in my ears.

Schwing!

Each strike was a release of pent-up frustration, a futile attempt to vent the overwhelming emotions that threatened to suffocate me since I witnessed that scene.

"They were at fault! I did nothing wrong!\'

Schwing!

But then, all of a sudden, the holograms I cut didn\'t dissipate into thin air like usual.

They fell to the ground, dead, a pool of blood around them, left to rot as I had done to many in the outpost.

"Blurgh..."

A wave of nausea swept over me, and I stumbled, my grip on the blade slipping.

I collapsed to my knees, gasping for air as tears welled up, blurring my vision.

The weight of my actions-or lack thereof-crushed me.

I had failed them. I had failed myself.

"No..."

I muttered hoarsely, my voice breaking.

What revenge? I had no right to talk.

"I couldn\'t... I didn\'t..."

The cold floor beneath me was a stark reminder of my vulnerability.

Guilt, heavier than anything that I\'ve ever felt, pressed down on my chest, making it hard to

breathe.

How could I face myself after what happened?

In the silence of the training room, I felt utterly alone.

The walls seemed to close in around me, trapping me in a prison of my own making.

I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking with silent sobs.

The tears came freely now, hot and bitter against my cheeks.

And time seemed to stretch as I wrestled with my emotions.

The guilt, the fear, the sense of failure-they were relentless, refusing to let me go.

I wanted to scream, to shout out my frustrations to the empty room, but all that escaped my lips were choked sobs.

The dead holographic targets flickered, their movements mocking my distress.

Each one represented a missed opportunity, a mistake that cost lives, a mistake that spelled

my hypocrisy.

I wanted to destroy them all, to obliterate every reminder of what I had done, but I knew it wouldn\'t change anything.

Ping~

But then I was jolted \'awake\' due to my terminal chiming softly, signaling an incoming

message.

I ignored it, lost in my own turmoil.

I didn\'t know who it was, but I didn\'t care; no one would check up on me.

I had no friends in the Academy, not even back home, where \'home\' used to be.

At least not after what happened.

They all left me when the vultures took everything.

It just showed how vain my life was...

As minutes passed, the sobs subsided into quiet sniffles.

I sat back on my heels, wiping tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

The ache in my chest hadn\'t lessened, but I felt a strange, sorrowful calm settle over me. Acceptance... perhaps. Acceptance that I couldn\'t change the past, but I could control how I moved forward.

I glanced at the terminal, its soft glow a stark contrast to the dimness of the training room. Wondering who it might be, my mind went wild and the name of a certain professor came up.

Emir. Maybe he needed me for something?

Or he might\'ve seen my state in the cameras... I didn\'t know which scenario I hated more.

But I knew that if he messaged me, his words were poised to manipulate me in some way- truths and lies that would spin my emotions and use them to further his own agenda, like a puppeteer pulling strings in the dark behind the curtains.

Most would call me obsessed, but I observed how he moved, how he acted against the parasite, and how he prepared for our dive.

He was always many steps ahead.

So I couldn\'t stop wondering if he knew about my breakdown-if he had orchestrated it

somehow.

\'...Let\'s see it for now.\'

Shaking off my fear and doubts, I reached for the terminal with trembling fingers.

The screen blinked to life, displaying the message waiting to be opened.

I hesitated, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Hooooohhhh..."

Taking a deep breath, I tapped the screen, opening the message that would shape my next

steps, for better or worse.