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Chapter 150 - Anger Management Issues



\'This is getting tedious,\' Doevm thought as he and the rogue clashed. \'I can\'t let him get close like all the other times.\' The rogue tried over and over again to parry the spear and close in but Doevm changed his grip with each strike, constantly making distance between them. He slipped under the rogue\'s guard and slashing right through his thin leather armor.

The dirt on Doevm\'s internal books grew at a rate faster than he could clean. Not that he noticed. He couldn\'t see them anymore. A thick fog rolled in from the edges of his mind. He gritted his teeth and forced his muscles into action. The rogue began to weave between attacks by bending his bones around the spear\'s tip. \'That\'s just fake alteration magic.\' Doevm coiled his legs up before leaping into the rogue\'s chest and slamming him down. \'Every magic has a weakness. With alteration magic, you lose your strength.\' He pushed knees into the rogue\'s soft arms. \'Finally I can end this fake fight!\' He raised his spear up.

The rogue\'s chest expanded and collapsed, and a soundwave blasted Doevm back. His ears rung, but he shook his head and shambled back to his feet. \'Fake sound amplification magic. Will you just fight me normally?\' Doevm cursed as he charged in again, his life essence flaring around his limbs. The world turned into black and white.

No matter how many times he scratched at the rogue, the shallow wounds healed within seconds, then the rogue would try to close the distance again. \'Why is he extending this fight so much? It\'s like he\'s asking to get cut up,\' Doevm thought. \'You people. If it wasn\'t for my book getting stolen, you would never be a threat to me. I would have beaten you into the ground by now. Those damned gods.\'

\'You\'re getting too angry,\' Doevm told himself. \'Just remember to clean off the books. That will be enough, right?\' He backed away and took a few breaths, glancing into his internal library. His mana twisted inside of him. It tore at sections of his flesh with his own fury. Everything was as filthy as humans, the books, the shelves, Doevm couldn\'t tell anything apart anymore.

\'I can\'t stop,\' His eyes widened as he fought. \'Just looking at this rogue…I can\'t help but think about that fucking goddess and how badly I want to strangle her.\'

"I think I\'m satisfied," the rogue said as he changed to reverse grips on his daggers and shot forward. Doevm lifted his leg out of the way of a dagger\'s swipe, but the blade sliced into his greave, just barely missing the skin. He kicked off the armor piece, turned on his axis, and swung the spear tip into the side of the rogue\'s head. A clang rang out, and his spear shook so hard that he almost lost his grip. The rogue\'s head flicked back, but besides the cut in his mask, he didn\'t take any visible damage.

The rogue\'s black hair, hardened with blue life essence, shot out from under his mask. Doevm, still recovering from the swing, could only watch as the hair wrapped around his spear like a snake and yank it from his grip. The hair stretched out again, towards his still outstretched hands. \'I really hate you,\' Doevm thought as he condensed life essence around his expanding chest and blew the hair away with a soundwave. \'I really hate everything you represent.\'

His gaze went to his spear, which clattered to the ground. He dove for it while the rogue was still recovering. Just when his fingers wrapped around the spear\'s shaft, it clattered away. Doevm cursed as the arrow fell. \'Another ant,\' Before he could get up and search for the archer, the area around him darkened.

\'Block.\'

Doevm wrapped himself in life essence just before a massive hammer smashed into the side of his body and flung him away. He coughed up blood as a numbed pain engulfed his body. He bounced, his armor skidding against the wet ground. The world tossed and turned as he knocked into blurs, stopping when he slammed into something soft and wet. He opened his eyes and leaned himself up to his feet. Some of the soft sticky substances made strands to his back. He looked back to see layers of bloody guts. He had flown straight into the dead dragon\'s open stomach wound.

He coughed, feeling the bile rise up at the back of his throat. He swallowed it back down. \'They must think I\'m dead from that hit. I covered myself in life essence at the last second. Even I didn\'t think to do that…So how did I manage to do it?\' He leaned against the dragon and looked at his shaking hands. \'I don\'t feel good.\' He puked out the last of his dinner. \'If only I can get help.\' He pat the sticky wall. \'Pity. If only I had enough mana, I would have gotten you as a servant.\'

He was about to step away but a thought struck him harder than the hammer. \'I still can, in a way.\' He pulled out a dagger but put it back in the spatial ring right after. \'The dagger might cause this corpse to catch fire. I can\'t waste this chance.\' He pulled out a throwing knife instead and cut organs out of the way. \'Where is it?\' he thought as he shambled deeper inside.

Doevm stopped halfway through the dragon, in front of an organ as black as charcoal, the organ responsible for a dragon\'s breath.

\'While dragons do have spells for fire, when they breathe fire, they don\'t use any mana. It\'s all because of this organ, which produces flammable fumes. They ignite it with a bit of fire in their throat, but I don\'t need that, not for what I have in store for this.\' He cut the parts around the organ, making sure to tie off the ends with his shirt to preserve as much leftover fumes as possible. It was still warm. \'I\'m no alchemist, but one picks up a trick or two after living so long. I have fuel, now I need the ignition. Luckily, I got an ignition source earlier.\'

Doevm grabbed some strands of black hair still inside of the creature and tied it to the organ. Next, he pulled out the arrow and sack, tied the organ to it, and put his bomb back into his spatial ring before the edge of the burning rope hit the sack. He sighed as he made his way out of the dragon.

Just as he reached the outside, his legs buckled under him, and his back hit the sticky stomach. He could see the battlefield again, and the three majors could see him. The hammer-wielder smashed someone into the ground, crushing several sections of his armor and limbs. He barely clung to life.

A memory of Hopi\'s and Frey\'s broken bodies flashed through Doevm\'s head. \'Why am I thinking of that now?\' He leaned forward yet found that his leg wasn\'t able to move. The three majors turned to him after finishing off their opponents. They turned into grey blurs like everything else in the world. Doevm closed his eyes and pictured himself cleaning away the muck, yet when he opened his eyes in his internal library, the grime went up to his chest. His mana was now a twisted knot of tangled strands. The fog was so thick that he couldn\'t even see his hand in front of his face. He couldn\'t move.

\'Concentrate.\' He thought. \'Picture the library and each individual book. The white rag\'s soft touch on my skin, the window letting in light from the outside. Picture it. I can\'t fight while emotional. I know that. So why isn\'t cleaning away the grime working? I\'m letting myself feel emotions, aren\'t I?\'

Doevm\'s strength left him like the blood coming from his wounds. He even lost the strength to keep his eyes open. The world turned black, but he was still conscious. \'What am I doing?\' he thought. \'I know that I can\'t be like this. I tried. I figured out a method to keep myself going, so why did my mind become like this?\'

While his eyes were closed, he knew the three majors were closing in. He had seen the rogue weaving between the masses of knights and creatures. The hammer-wielder and archer weren\'t far behind him. The archer had an arrow nocked. The hammer-wielder had her hammer raised to the sky. \'Just looking at those three and how they fight, I can\'t help it. I let my emotions in, but how do I deal with them. Why isn\'t the anger going away after I clean it?\'

"The anger will never go away," a voice said. The dark world brightened. The many gunshots and smell of smoke vanished like Doevm\'s pain.

\'I know this feeling,\' Doevm thought. \'From once before. What do you want, Maker?\'


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